Why do some trans people tell detransitioners they have “internalised transphobia”?

1. A quick way to shut down doubt
Many detransitioners hear the phrase the moment they express second thoughts. “They also try to gaslight you into thinking … you have ‘internalized transphobia’ … when in reality you’re not.” – Various_Tart7923 source [citation:2e52d3de-a4cb-4417-98ff-3f4d77744c26]
Calling doubt “self-hatred” ends the conversation before anyone has to ask whether medical transition was the right tool in the first place.

2. Protection from their own fears
Detrans stories force trans-identified people to face the scary possibility that they, too, might regret hormones or surgery. “It fuels self-doubt, and people … fight against self-doubt by projecting it onto others.” – cranberry_snacks source [citation:f6ecb79e-3270-4e43-a4b6-26f14f57f1a7]
Labelling the detransitioner as “phobic” keeps that fear safely outside themselves.

3. A shield against evidence that transition can fail
Every open detransitioner is a living reminder that the “born-in-the-wrong-body” story is not fool-proof. “Almost all of them … will try to gaslight you … because you make their agenda look bad by simply existing.” – thistle_ev source [citation:a95e86cb-2d7a-4cc9-a375-1ead883f80d3]
Accusing the detrans person of “internalised transphobia” moves attention away from the uncomfortable fact that bodies and minds sometimes do not co-operate with the gender story.

4. A thought-terminating cliché that hides real distress
Some trans people privately feel they are “failing” at transition; the phrase gives them a place to dump that shame. “Internalized transphobia exists to stop them from dwelling on that self-hate … the self-hate is entirely justified … it filters out the ones who can’t succeed and leads them to detransition.” – recursive-regret source [citation:69ba3768-709f-49ba-beb7-c5b3aa86a9bf]
Instead of exploring non-medical ways to ease distress, the accuser pins the problem on the detransitioner’s “phobia.”

Take-away
The charge of “internalised transphobia” is less about the detrans person and more about protecting a belief system. Recognising it as a defensive projection can free questioning people to trust their own feelings, seek non-medical support, and remember that stepping away from transition is not moral failure—it is honest self-preservation.