The same adults who once told us we had to “pick a box” now host events that still put kids in one.
Detransitioned people are speaking up about drag-queen story hours in schools and libraries. Their stories show how rigid gender rules—whether enforced with shame or with glitter—can push children toward the very distress they are trying to escape.

1. “It was the same message in a louder costume.”
Several detransitioners say the problem is not the performer’s outfit, but the hidden rule underneath: if you like princess stories, you must belong to the “girl box.” One man remembers being told it was “wrong of me to want to wear pink or princess pajamas as a young boy”—a message that later fed the belief that he was “really a girl.” When he sees drag queens reading these stories to children, he hears the same rule dressed up as celebration: “The people reading to me in elementary school were reading books about cats and dogs… not about sex or gender.” – sleeper_agent02 source [citation:09d4fb70-99c7-45e7-81d3-348d20d68fbf] Rather than freeing children, these events can simply add pressure to choose a label before they have had time to explore who they are.

2. “I was the kid in the crowd handing out condoms.”
Others recall Pride events where adult sexual expression and children were placed side-by-side. One woman describes standing at a city celebration at age seventeen and, “in the same span of a few minutes… saw the thonged / naked ass of a full-grown man, and a mom carting two toddlers in a red wagon… handing out free condoms.” – rotary_rip source [citation:8d930df1-7957-479c-8158-b1af0ad39431] The memory still feels unsafe. Because drag story hours often take place under the same rainbow branding, these detransitioners worry that children will again be asked to witness adult sexual imagery before they are ready.

3. “Let boys wear pink on an ordinary Tuesday.”
The solution they propose is surprisingly simple: drop the boxes altogether. If a boy wants sparkles, let him wear sparkled sneakers to math class. If a girl wants a buzz-cut and a necktie, great—let her lead the science club. One detransitioned man says that healthy gender non-conformity “didn’t involve fake breasts… it was just being a boy but in a feminine way.” – SuperIsaiah source [citation:91ca0495-a030-4453-9b36-980e8ea8bbe2] In their view, everyday freedom is far more protective than any staged performance.

4. Drag for grown-ups, boundaries for kids.
A few still enjoy adult drag as theater, but draw a clear line: “I’m big on keeping kids away from these events some people are pushing to be all-ages.” – bradx220 source [citation:05297a75-da4c-4bd2-9004-07bbeeb3022d] Their wish is for separate spaces: creative play-acting for adults, and safe, non-sexual libraries where children can hear about dragons, space travel, or even a prince who loves gowns—without anyone telling them what that means about who they “really” are.

Conclusion: The kindest gift we can give a child is room to breathe.
Detransitioned voices remind us that gender distress often begins when adults—through shame or celebration—rush children toward a label. The path to healing is not more boxes, but fewer: let every child explore colors, stories, and clothes without pressure to rename themselves. When we protect that space, we protect their future.