Finding a therapist who will explore, not affirm
Many people discover that the fastest way to locate a gender-exploratory therapist is to start with the small networks that already exist. Detransitioners repeatedly point to TherapyFirst.org, Genspect.org, and the London-based practice of Dr. Az Hakeem (drazhakeem.com) as places that keep referral lists of clinicians who are willing to ask “why” before saying “yes” to transition. “There is a group called Therapy First that specializes in gender-exploration therapy… They also have groups of people still figuring themselves out.” – ahinrichsen84 source [citation:2283f987-52d1-46a8-96d0-63f1bce97e4a] If you are outside the UK, Dr. Hakeem’s books and videos can still help you learn the kinds of questions an exploratory therapist should be asking.

Using the first phone call as a filter
Once you have a short list, treat the free 15- or 30-minute consultation as an interview. State plainly that you want to understand the roots of your distress and that you are not looking for immediate affirmation of a trans identity. “When you book your free phone consultation… state that your need is for detransition and trauma treatment and explicitly state that you are not seeking help with trans identity affirmation.” – L82Desist source [citation:3a9022bc-18e3-463f-a80f-a4a0aa6505e5] Two quick screening questions suggested by another user are: “When do you think transition is justified?” and “When do you think it should be avoided?” The way a clinician answers will reveal whether they can hold space for uncertainty.

Looking outside the “LGBTQ+ friendly” label
Because many therapists now advertise themselves as “affirming,” several detransitioners recommend searching instead for trauma-informed or general mental-health practitioners and then raising the topic of gender dysphoria only after the first contact. “Try looking for trauma-informed professionals, and avoid the ones that advertise that they are ‘LGBT+ friendly.’” – Melia2005 source [citation:0ad783f9-c050-4965-b580-4e2aaa630b3f] Framing the issue as “body dysphoria” or “distress about sex-role expectations” can keep the conversation focused on underlying causes rather than on a predetermined pathway.

Using public voices as a compass
Even if you cannot travel to Texas or London, familiarising yourself with the work of clinicians such as Sasha Ayad (inspiredteentherapy.com/gender-sexuality/) gives you a clear model of what exploratory therapy sounds like. “Familiarise yourself with how she talks about these issues and then when you interview a therapist… ask what she/he thinks about this type of approach.” – purplebicycles source [citation:0db302e5-a02a-4e47-a7db-5482b8d0a4f1] If a local therapist respects that framework, you have likely found someone who will help you examine, rather than cement, the beliefs that are causing pain.

You are allowed to shop around
Several stories emphasise that it is normal—and necessary—to try more than one therapist. “If you do start therapy and don’t feel like it’s a good fit, don’t hesitate to change therapists.” – Ok_Thanks5877 source [citation:59168ec1-98d5-481d-a01f-8b1d37f9def5] The goal is a collaborative relationship in which you can safely question gender stereotypes, explore the sources of your distress, and develop non-medical strategies for living more freely in your own body.

Conclusion
Locating a gender-exploratory therapist is less about a single directory and more about knowing where to look and what to ask. Start with the small networks that already support open-ended inquiry, use the first phone call to set clear boundaries, and remember that your discomfort deserves thoughtful investigation—not a rush to medical answers. By insisting on space to question, you are already practicing the kind of gender non-conformity that leads to genuine self-understanding and lasting peace.