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what is gender?


Questions and answers for people who are questioning their gender identity.


What is gender?
From the shared experiences of detransitioned individuals, gender is best understood as a social construct—a set of human-made rules, roles, and expectations tied to biological sex but not inherent to it. As vsapieldepapel explains, “Gender exists in the same way that money exists… completely human-made and irrelevant, yet holds power because we exist as a unit in the collective of humanity” [citation:df9f1d68-b04e-4186-bfc2-3e86da8739eb]. These rules dictate how people are expected to dress, behave, and interact based on their perceived sex, often reinforcing hierarchies where traits associated with females are devalued [citation:df9f1d68-b04e-4186-bfc2-3e86da8739eb].

Gender vs. Sex
Detransitioners emphasize a clear distinction: sex is the biological reality (male/female reproductive categories), while gender is the sociological overlay of stereotypes and roles. keycoinandcandle clarifies, “Sex is real, and gender, by the very nature of being a social construct, isn’t” [citation:03b127ef-6594-4fb5-a6aa-2b3d07b42f4a]. Gender roles are externally imposed, not innate, and are enforced through social pressure, as eyesclouds notes: “We don’t have gender—society does, and we’re subjected to it” [citation:7b0426d7-71e6-4808-bc04-47e923b453cc].

Practical Impact
Attempting to reject gender norms often leads to social penalties. Werevulvi describes a failed experiment living as a masculine-presenting woman: “It was an utterly failed social experiment… I better use femininity to communicate that I’m of the female sex” [citation:9b678e79-137c-4741-adeb-b392a74dd529]. Similarly, butchpeace725 highlights that socialization creates an unchangeable gender identity rooted in early experiences [citation:11996f11-a99a-4112-ae91-2b086e495609].

Reconciliation
Detransitioners reconcile gender’s artificiality with its social reality by using gendered behaviors strategically (e.g., femininity as a communication tool) while advocating for non-conformity. cranberry_snacks adopts a “post-gender” stance: “I have a sex, but I just see myself as human” [citation:11479936-2ae2-41c9-a6e4-cd03064c334d]. Ultimately, they view gender as oppressive stereotypes to be challenged, not identities to be medicalized.

The truth is that gender non-conformity will set us all free!

More questions related to "what is gender?"


Top Picks

Some great starter questions to ask detrans people...

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What's an egg?

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Is gender a social construct?

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I didn't choose to be trans!

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What is a belief system?

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What is an identity trap?

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How can I get out of an identity trap?

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How can I help someone else get out of an identity trap?

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What is the difference between sex and gender?

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How is cancel culture harmful?

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Does transition ever end?

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Why do some women hate their breasts?

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How do online echo chambers cause psychosis?

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Why do detrans voices get silenced?

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Is gender ideology at odds with the goals of feminism?

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What are the main reasons that women adpot trans identity?

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What are the main reasons that men adopt trans identity?

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How do non-binary identities re-inforce sexist stereotypes and roles?

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Why do people identify vaguely as queer now?

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How does LGB differ from the T?

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Is there a link between autism and transgender identity?

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Is gender-affirming care based on science?

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Why is gender-affirming care currently considered the only solution to dysphoria?

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Is academic research on trans and gender topics biased?

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Is teaching gender ideology to kids progressive?

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Is gender ideology fuelling a culture war?

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Is the culture war preventing humanity from solving real problems?

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Why do some refer to gender ideology as a mind virus?

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Why are the rates of people who identify as trans increasing?

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Is the trans suicide rate possibly mis-represented?

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Why do some trans people say 'death before detransition'?

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Why is gender dysphoria no longer treated as a mental health issue?

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Why are there so many ladyboys in Thailand?

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Why is Iran a global hub for transgender surgeries?

General Terms

Understanding the fundamental concepts

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What is a man?

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What is a woman?

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What is gender?

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What's an egg?

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What are pronouns?

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What are trans rights?

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What is cancel culture?

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What is dysphoria?

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What causes dysphoria?

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What is the gender dysphoria bible?

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How can I overcome dysphoria?

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What is transgender identity?

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What is transphobia?

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What is non-binary identity?

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What is queer identity?

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What is personality?

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What is gender non-conformity (GNC)?

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What is detransitioning?

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What is desisting?

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Are intersex people trans?

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What is gender fluidity?

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What does AFAB/AMAB mean?

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What is a TERF?

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What is deadnaming?

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What is misgendering?

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What is a cisgender person?

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What is biological sex?

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What is social transition vs medical transition?

The Medical Reality

Health, procedures, and biological truths

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Can humans change sex?

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What are the health risks of hormones?

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Should I get off hormones?

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What is vaginoplasty?

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What is phalloplasty?

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Can I undo phalloplasty?

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Can I undo vaginoplasty?

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Should everyone else have to pay for transgender surgeries?

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I had a double masectomy, should I get breast implants?

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Should I get facial reconstruction surgery?

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Why are hormones often prescribed before a single therapy session?

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What is the science behind gender affirming care?

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Does unrestricted access to hormones and surgeries provide good outcomes?

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What are puberty blockers and are they reversible?

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What happened to the light in my eyes?

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What are the long-term effects of cross-sex hormones?

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What are the WPATH Standards of Care?

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Are the WPATH Standards of Care based on science?

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What is the Dutch Protocol?

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What is rapid-onset gender dysphoria (ROGD)?

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What are the regret rates for gender surgeries?

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What is gender exploratory therapy?

Society & Culture

How gender beleif systems affects us all

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What are the transition rates for men vs women?

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Why is the trans suicide rate so high?

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Is being trans a mental illness?

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Is the trans suicide rate mis-represented?

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What does it mean to be gender critical?

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Do suicides based on regret get blamed on social acceptance?

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How does the trans community use mantras?

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Does the trans community encourage suicide?

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Does society believe that gender is a social construct?

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Does gender ideology affect society?

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What's the difference between being a tomboy and transgender?

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Are there male brains and female brains?

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Where did the term gender come from?

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Why are autistic people overrepresented in the trans community?

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How is gender ideology at odds with homosexual identities?

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How is gender ideology at odds with heterosexual identities?

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Did gender activists hijack the gay rights movement?

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How is gender ideology at odds with the goals of feminism?

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Is it beneficial to teach the idea that you can change sex to children?

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Do children ever grow up to regret transitioning at such a young age?

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What are the effects the transgender movement has on our wider society?

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Is gender ideology fuelling a culture war?

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Does transgender ideology contradict itself?

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Why are so many people identifying as trans or non-binary now? Is it a trend?

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Is it common for friends of trans people to become trans too?

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What is the bathroom debate about?

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What are trans rights vs women's rights conflicts?

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What is the sports participation controversy?

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What is the medicalization of gender non-conforming children?

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What is the history of trans activism?

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What do detrans people think about drag queen story hours?

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What is the difference between gender and sex?

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Why are there so many ladyboys in Thailand?

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Why is Iran a global hub for transgender surgeries?

Psychology & Identity

Understanding the mental and emotional aspects

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What is internalised misogyny?

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What is internalised misandry?

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What is internalised homophobia?

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What is autogynephilia?

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What is gender euphoria?

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What is a belief system?

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What is an identity trap?

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Does transition ever end?

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What is body dysmorphia vs gender dysphoria?

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What is the role of social media in trans identification?

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What is the impact of pornography on gender identity?

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What is the impact of trauma on gender identity?

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Are trans people living authentically?

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Can you be a woman if you're not 'feminine'?

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Can you be a man if you're not 'masculine'?

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Why do some women hate their breasts?

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What is the neurochemical cycle of validation?

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What causes some gender non-conforming people to adopt trans identity?

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Do some homosexual people transition to get access to heterosexual people?

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How do I know if I have internalised a victim mentality?

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Why do some people think that trans identity is a choice?

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What are a persons options with how they deal with dysphoria?

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What are the stages that lead to an obsession with 'passing'?

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What are the Jungian perspectives on transgender identity?

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What role do the anima and animus play in transgender identity?

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What unconcious shadows are playing out in people who transition?

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What is shadow work?

The Detransition Journey

Healing, support, and finding your way back

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Am I a failure if I detransition?

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How can I help someone who believes they were born in the wrong body?

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I want to detransition, where do I start?

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How did I fall into an identity trap in the first place?

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How can I get out of an identity trap?

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How can understanding the struggles of the other sex help me heal?

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What is gender exploratory therapy?

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What is CBT therapy?

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What is DBT therapy?

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How can I make peace with the changes I have made to my body?

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How can I learn to love myself and my unique personality, and find my inner peace?

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Why do trans people encourage other trans people not to read detransition stories?

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Why do detrans people get silenced from trans communities and wider society?

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Why do trans people tell detransitioners that they have internalised transphobia?

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How can I help others question the validity of their transgender identity?

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I think my friends will 'cancel' me for detransitioning!

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How do I find a therapist who supports detransition?

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How can I find a gender exploratory therapist?

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How do I tell my family I'm detransitioning?

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What support groups exist for detransitioners?

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How do I deal with shame about detransitioning?

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How do I rebuild my life after detransition?

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What are the stages of grief in detransition?

Academic & Research Bias

Questioning the narrative in institutions

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Is academic research on trans and gender topics biased?

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Why is it so hard to find a gender critical therapist?

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Why was gender dysphoria removed from list of mental health disorders?

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What is the Cass Review?

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What happened to Lisa Littman's research?

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What are the methodological flaws in the 2015 detransition survey?

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Why are detransition studies so controversial?

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What is the Tavistock scandal?

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Why are researchers afraid to study detransition?

The Controversial Truth

Detrans perspectives that gender activists really don't want you to hear

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Why do some people call the trans movement a cult?

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Why do some people call the trans movement a mind virus?

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Are gender beliefs similar to religious beliefs?

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What is the connection between trans activism and pharmaceutical companies?

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Is there a financial incentive to promote transition?

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Why are detransitioners silenced in mainstream media?

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What is the role of schools in promoting gender ideology?

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Are parents being replaced by the state when it comes to gender decisions?